An Honest-to-Goodness eVolley with GapKids Customer Service

Dear GapKids Customer Service People,
     Shopping your online site, I notice that your handy-dandy online size charts indicate numerical sizes, but many of your kids clothing items come in xxs-xxl.
     I can't tell how they match up, so I am unable to complete my order.
     I find this distressing. Please help me before I eat the entire package of Chips Ahoy cookies.
-S Kawa

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Dear S. Kawa,
     Thanks for your e-mail.  We would like to apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced with our service.  Please know that our goal here at gap.com is to exceed our customer's expectations. We're sorry that, in this instance, we clearly did not meet yours, and hope that you will give us another opportunity in the future.  If we can be of assistance, at any time, please feel free to contact us via e-mail at custserv@gap.com or call 1-800-GAP-STYLE.  Thanks again.
Sincerely,
Kip
Customer Service Consultant

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Kip, dear.
     Focus, hon.
     Forget for a minute your PR goals and the spiel they forced you (possibly at fashionable gunpoint) to memorize on day one of your tenure at Gap Customer Service.
     If you really want to help - and I can sense that you do - how about starting by, oh - say, READING the customer's emails?
     Let's try this again...

>  Your handy-dandy online size charts indicate
>  numerical sizes, but many of your kids clothing
>  items come in xxs-xxl.
>  I can't tell how they match up, so I am unable
>  to complete my order.

     Translation: SEND ME THE SIZE CONVERSIONS.
Just a thought.
-Susan

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 Dear Ms. Kawa,
     Thank you for your e-mail. Please accept our apology for not answering your question in our previous reply.  Below are the women's size conversion charts:

xs = 1-2 / s = 4-6 / m = 8-10 / l = 12-14 / xl= 16-18

     If we may be of further assistance, please contact us via e-mail at custserv@gap.com or by calling 1-800-GAP-STYLE.  Our Customer Service Consultants are here 24 hours a day for your shopping convenience.
Sincerely,
Martha
Customer Service Consultant

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Martha,
     Where's Kip? I hope he's not sick. Does he have the chicken pox? You didn't fire him, did you? Because I didn't mean to get you guys all mad at him. Please send him my regards.
     Anyway, Martha, thank you for your polite, if fractional reply.
     The xxs-xxl sizes I questioned, however, are *childrens* sizes.  Note the clues: 1) my use of the phrase "kids clothing items", and 2) the fact that your women's sizes start at xs, not xxs.
     But at any rate, if there are no women's size conversions on your site, it would obviously make it hard for a customer to place an order, if indeed said customer intended to purchase women's clothes. The same would hold true for men (thought I'd rather not risk a whole separate email exchange on that one.)
     Really, I'm rather amazed at how little information can be conveyed, while at the same time maintaining such a high standard of courtesy (on the point of courtesy, I would be referring of course to you. I have been somewhat less courteous. It's a curse.)
     You may be surprised to hear that not only am I, as you correctly guessed, a woman, but also I have managed to land a husband and bring forth two children (a boy and a girl - for maximum Gap clothing size confusion purposes.)
     I will be sure to visit one of your stores, and perhaps liberate a set of size charts for my future ordering convenience. I trust that this won't cause your personnel undue angst.
 All the Best,
-Susan Kawa
Humorist, Mother, Size (women's) Small
mommarama.planetkawa.com
 
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Dear Mrs. Kawa,
     Thanks for your e-mail.  We would like to apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced with our service.  Please know that our goal here at gap.com is to exceed our customer's expectations. We're sorry that, in this instance, we clearly did not meet yours, and hope that you will give us another opportunity in the future.  If we can be of assistance, at any time, please feel free to contact us via e-mail at custserv@gap.com or call 1-800-GAP-STYLE.  Thanks again.
Sincerely,
James
Customer Service Consultant
 
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Dear James,
     You are SO busted. That is the *exact same response I got from Kip a few days ago. Is that you, Kip? Are you messing with me? And what happened to Martha? Sure is a lot of turnover there at Gap Customer Service, isn't there? I have a tip for you. "Plastics!"
     For your convenience, James (if that's really who you are) I'm including kids' size conversions below. I swiped them off a sweatshirt on the clearance rack. You can add them to your GapKids website. Or not. I realize it's probably more fun to leave this information out, what with all the eccentric personalities you get to meet as a result. Plus, it adds to the whole job security thing - I realize Gap can be a bitch that way.

xxs=3 / xs=4 / s=5/6 / m=7/8 / l=9/10 / xl=11/12 / xxl=13/14

Good luck,
-Susan Kawa