Are We Having Fun Yet

Being a Mom is lots of fun. But I can only say that because my definition of "fun" has undergone some serious modifications since the days when I was "child-free." When I became a Mom, I may as well have just switched languages. Because from that moment on, I found myself dealing with completely different definitions of most common concepts.

"Love", for example, took on whole new dimensions of meaning. Not only did I literally grow a new heart for the life I'd borne (both times, for a grand total of THREE hearts, counting the original), but all my other relationships got re-vamped and held to a new standard. I became MUCH more discriminating. Love ceased  to be "Will you gaze into my eyes forever more", and became "If you change this diaper, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth."

But while the standard for "Love" leaps, our standard for "fun" plunges! Who but a parent would consider playing "Chutes and Ladders" for the fourteenth time anything remotely RESEMBLING fun? (Raise your hand, and I'll be happy to send some nice gentlemen to promptly escort you to the nearest mental detention center.) We do it for the expression elicited when we throw the game in their favor (which isn't easy with Chutes and Ladders.). Believe me, it's worth it.

We take our children to the movies. Coyotes, I hear, chew limbs off rather than stay caught in inhumane traps. This would have been the approximate reaction, had I been forced to escort a toddler to a movie theatre pre-motherhood.

Now I happily (new def.) endure 10,982 LOUDLY proffered questions, spilled soda, a seat full of gum, and a half-dozen bathroom runs, to provide my child with the experience.

Presuming that experience isn't the Pokemon movie.

Not only do we accept and participate in mind-numbing activities with our kids in the name of FUN, but we also ABANDON the majority of experiences we'd previously relished. For example, we no longer hop on planes to Aruba. (Well, we never did that before, but we COULD have, and that's the point.)

We don't hang out at the bookstore (actually, we've been banned, but that's another story.)
We avoid restaurants at all cost, and when we DO go, we tend to frequent establishments we wouldn't have been caught DEAD near pre-parenthood (ref. Coyote trap statement above).
The beach, camping, and vacationing become tremendously tiring. And the luggage. Oh my God, the luggage!

Malls are a hazard, though this knowledge takes some time to sink in. Which is why you see a lot of new parents pushing expensive carriages while CARRYING an unsatisfied child. Then there's the whole issue about those fancy displays set up in department store thoroughfares - a polite invitation to pram-pushing parents to GET LOST!

Take Disney World (please.) This is pretty much THE place to be, if you're looking for Fun. Fun with a capital 'F'. I invite any student of human nature to study the body language of the "Normal People" versus the "People with Little Kids". The latter would be the ones bearing remarkable resemblance to victims of muggings.

"Fun", in short, is a whole lot more work than it used to be. No longer is it OUR minds, souls, and lives that deserve primary consideration - it's the lives of these little humans we're GIVEN, miraculously, to cultivate. Fun is watching the light bulb go on over their heads. Hearing an original idea spring from a 3-year-old. Watching them get the food INTO their mouths. Fun is running next to a de-training-wheeled bike for two hours, gouging your calf on the axle.

Like they say: "When all else fails, lower your standards." A lot! More. More! Just a little more. A little to the left. There you go! NOW are you having fun?