Best Friends

"But why does she have to go home?"
Abby tearfully watched Lindy disappear down the sidewalk.

So her mother can clean the blood off her clothes. Let's get you cleaned up too, and revisit the facts, shall we, Abby? You *hit her in the *head with your piggy bank?

Well, she poked me in the eye with her spoon, and wouldn't let me be the princess.

Was this BEFORE or AFTER you slammed her hand in the drawer?

After. But she was trying to grab stuff, and I was trying to put it back.

What stuff?

The scissors. See? She cut my hair, and made a heart-shaped hole in my shirt. Then she wouldn't let me cut HER hair, so I slammed her hand and jabbed her with a clothespin.

Wait a minute - you KNOW you're not allowed to cut your hair!

But she MADE me do it. After I flushed her shoes down the toilet.

WHAT?!?!?

Well, she dropped a chair on my head and I got mad.

A CHAIR?

That was after I sat on her neck and pulled her hair and whacked her with the stapler.

Abby! Shame on you. Why would you do that?

Because she was being MEAN to me!

SHE was being mean to YOU?

Yeah. She threw sand in my face and made me eat a dead leaf. And ALL I DID was push her off the swing!

Weren't you taking turns? Never mind. But tell me who threw the rock.

Me. But that was because she was chasing me and hitting me with the rake.

So you threw a ROCK?

Well, she only laughed when I hit her with a stick, and wouldn't stand still when I tried to spray bug poison on her. So I threw the rock. It wasn't as big as the one SHE threw at ME after I pushed her out of the tree-house and she fell on my skate.

Why did you push her out of the tree-house? That's very dangerous.

Because she hit me in the stomach with her elbow and stomped on my foot and told me I was ugly.

That doesn't sound like Lindy…

Well, I kinda threw a snake on her. Because she stuck out her tongue at me.

Maybe you girls need some time apart. How about tomorrow we play with somebody else?

But, Mom! Lindy's my BEST FRIEND!