Miscellaneous Pine Cones!!!
Let's see. I've given away all the broken toys, my husband's LPs, all of the mateless socks in the house, and even DRYER LINT. You people are sick, you know. Get some help. I'm begging you.

But since I started this, I'm going to have to keep going. Sort of like making up a rule for you kids on the spur-of-the-moment, and then having to enforce it for the rest of time. You know - so they won't suspect you're just you're just arbitrarily flinging rules around, and don't actually know what you're doing.

I would imagine.

So this time, my Incredible Mommarama Contest will be for…. Uh… hmmm...

Oh - here we go. PINE CONES! We have a lot of those in the yard. Yes, pine cones.

Okay, sorry. I cleaned out the garage last month. Sue me. It's pine cones, and that's it. Suck it up.

Yes, we have behind door number 3, a pot luck selection of pine cones - all a lovely shade of 60's-appliance brown. Mostly non-smooshed. May come with insects, or without. These lovely pine cones can be YOURS, all yours!

Congratulations to the winner, who wrote
I want to win this contest because I have nothing better to do today except stay home on the couch with the flu and enter totally worthless contests on the Internet.
-Lori R

And the runner up, who wrote
To win some pine cones would be a dream come true for me. I have wished for only a few things in my life and pinecones are third on my list following close behind: empty toilet paper rolls and a family of stuffed gerbils. Pinecones are my third desire because they emit a fresh fragrance when placed in large bowls of mercury (purchased from your local
science supply store). My home is starting to have a strange aroma from the stuffed gerbils we recently obtained. Other than the fragrance they emit in mercury, pinecones are a good holiday gift your friends closest to you. Placing pinecones in an old purse and giving to a friend can really brighten their day.
I hope that you will give me a fair chance at your pinecones, as I recently discovered that someone had stolen my empty toilet paper roll collection.
Thanks,
-Sandy